A NOTE OF OLYMPIC PROPORTIONS

It's been noted that my subtitle, "For every 15,000 Adult Male Performers, there are 30,000 Child Laborers standing behind them" (in reference to Beijing's Olympic Opening), is not entirely accurate.

The enforcement of the strict one-child per couple law in China, therefore, would theoretically mean that 15,000 males would produce 15,000 children. But I was counting the females, too, you know, the children that don't count.

NOTES FROM THE CORPORATE INSIDE, V

After I read in Anne’s notebook that she took samples of the Cafeteria’s salad dressing, I couldn’t believe it. She has facilities for this sort of thing? How does she know where to send samples? Is she really a corporate spy sent by a temp agency? She knows enough spy words...her notebook is peppered with them. So I started some spying of my own.

Yesterday, when Anne was out at the photocopy machine (she can spend hours there…not sure why), I snooped in her briefcase. And I found something. I found…a document…and it—shoot! Squeaky Aerosoles. Anne just got in. I should never blog at work! I’ll have to write continue this later.


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OLYMPICS REVIEW! OLYMPICS REVIEW!

For every 15,000 Adult Male Performers, there are 30,000 Child Laborers standing behind them.

No one can deny that the Summer Olympics’ opening ceremony was stupendous. The artistry, faultless symmetry, and harmonized movement was a sensational journey through history and tradition. I was moved. I welled up. I was in the moment with them. Until, that is, the commentator noted that the Creative Director (or choreographer) watched a rehearsal in which the performers wore black unitards studded with tiny lights. He immediately said black would not work, change it to neon green. Within days they had a new unitard designed. Within a week, they had over 1,000 of them sewn and covered in lights. I marveled along with the rest of the world at this feat. And then it occurred to me: China has sweatshops. It’s summer vacation. And kids loooove to stay up late. Of course the Chinese could churn out over 1,000 costumes in only 7 days. Scores of teeny children were available (ready and willing?) for finger-bleeding work. So it may have seemed to the commentators--and the world--that those sparkling green unitards magically appeared, but my belief is that there’s more behind it. A lot more…like legions more...of 3 foot tall, 36 pound prepubescent government-limited laborers.*

*The above commentary mere speculation. NBC has not broadcast any sweatshops during their coverage of the Olympics. It is doubtful any sweatshops will be exposed, as inevitably a whistleblower’s tongue be gouged and hands cut off.**

** I exaggerate. Surely the People’s Republic of China wouldn't purposely hurt those critical of their alleged practices.

NOTES FROM THE CORPORATE INSIDE, PART IV

It is my first Wednesday here at Best Practice. Turns out, the Café serves free food on this day each week. Broken Spirit says it’s to give people something to look forward to; help them get through the rest of the week. She would say that.

I observed the activity in the Café closely. The Consultants acted like vultures, swarming the buffet and piling their plates high, as though they cannot afford a $12 lunch on a $106,000+ salary. This free meal, no doubt, is a means to win Best Practice’s employees—and this operative—over with paninis and fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. So I’ve taken samples of the salad dressing and soup, assuming a mind-control ingredient has been added to the recipes.

I will eat Subway from now on.