NOTES FROM THE CORPORATE INSIDE, PART III

On her second day as temp, my colleague Anne had thought she stumbled on a clue during her initial training session. After a long discussion (interrogation?) with the Learning Leader, turns out, it was just the flagging feature in Lotus Notes. Anne did get something out of her meeting though:

Day 3
I am no longer allowed within 150 feet of the Learning Leader’s office unless an HR representative is present.

My theory is that Anne has some sort of mental illness background and it’s illegal for Best Practice to let her go on the grounds of her being crazy, so they have to keep her. How else could she get away with creating a hostile work environment?

Today Muffin’s assistant, Tara (codename: Mini-Muffin or Donut Hole…I can’t decide just yet) trained me Database Administration. My tasks include moving the mouse, clicking buttons, selecting options from drop down menus and clicking again. It takes much skill and intellect to manage the functions. I was told to “play around” with the database to “get a feel” for it. I sense Mini-Muffin’s suggestion was a tip-off. Unlike Lotus Notes, the information contained in this database MUST hold clues as to my mission.

I’m afraid to look at the database. I have a feeling Anne’s fucked it up while playing “spy” lady. Actually, I can guarantee she’s fucked it up, based on what happened later that day.

Received a Fatal Error message from the Database. Fatal means “dead”, so with paperclips and a letter opener, I took apart the computer up and removed bits of the inside in hopes to revive it. Broken Spirit noted that computer issues are dealt with by Worldwide Help Portal in Zaire. Best Practice does not have computer technicians on premises and I am not supposed to move my computer, let alone take it apart, without Worldwide Help on the line. After inputting my Number and speaking to Justin in Zaire, I realized the outsourcing works in my favor. I shall continue to break things so I may investigate Best Practice on a global level.